Years ago, I was teaching high school film classes. In one particular group, I had a notorious bully, this kid who was so quick to be offended, always looking for an opportunity to thrown down his chair, assume a fighting stance and raise his fists. In the same class was a wildly flamboyant, extraordinarily out gay kid. I did not expect this class to well, did not expect these two students to mix well and I braced myself for the worst.
Well, the worst thing that happened was that I let it slip that I had not yet seen The Big Lebowski, which, at the time, had been out for a few years. The bully was outraged. The gay kid mocked me.
The, something happened. The two of them started trading lines from the movie back and forth, began to recall their favorite scenes with each other and then actually formed a unified front against me, side by side with each other, only sort of playfully berating me for not seeing the film. From what appeared, on the surface, to be some substantial differences, they bonded on common ground to fight for their cause. Of course, the alliance was irreparably shaken when the bully found out something else about the gay kid, a discussion that went something like "Okay, I get it, you're gay and all and that's cool but, vegan, WTF?"
After the events of last week, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that day in my class. I might be naive and simple-minded but it just seems like we all might be better off looking at the things we have in common rather than fixating on the things that make us different.
The, something happened. The two of them started trading lines from the movie back and forth, began to recall their favorite scenes with each other and then actually formed a unified front against me, side by side with each other, only sort of playfully berating me for not seeing the film. From what appeared, on the surface, to be some substantial differences, they bonded on common ground to fight for their cause. Of course, the alliance was irreparably shaken when the bully found out something else about the gay kid, a discussion that went something like "Okay, I get it, you're gay and all and that's cool but, vegan, WTF?"
After the events of last week, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that day in my class. I might be naive and simple-minded but it just seems like we all might be better off looking at the things we have in common rather than fixating on the things that make us different.
I'm sure that there are racists out there who like pizza, baseball and movies as much as I do. I like to think that all of us want to have a safe, comfortable place to live and raise our families.
Having a supportive community of like minded people is something to cherish but I sometimes wonder if identifying oneself in a particular way or strongly, inextricably aligning oneself with a movement, ideology or sub-culture is always an effective method of self expression.
Someone I know recently informed me that they identify as bisexual. I wondered if this the way that I am now supposed to think of this person. To me, sexuality is only relevant to the people someone has sex with. I think of this person as smart, funny and articulate, not bisexual. Should I now be thinking, "Let's get ___ to do it, you know, that bisexual person"? Is bisexuality their brand, their identity now? I don't think so, it's not what joins us but, even though it is a difference between us, it also does not divide us. Common ground, that's what works for me, common sense.
No comments:
Post a Comment